November 12, 2000
Matthew 18:21-35 (p. 852)
Intro to the passage:
Jesus is asked a question - "How many times must
we forgive someone?"
In typical fashion, Jesus answers the question
with a story.
Note: - ancient rabbis taught that you must forgive
someone 3 times
- 10,000 talents = 15 years wages
- 100 denarii = 100 days wages
Please read the passage.
I’d like to talk to you this morning about
forgiveness. I’ve entitled this message, "Forgive and be Free!" because
I believe that that’s the point of Jesus’ story. Forgiveness is the path
of freedom. Unforgiveness is a jail cell.
Now, Jesus makes this point in the strongest
of terms. Once upon a time there was a king who wished to settle up his
accounts, the loans & debts of his servants. One servant owed him an
enormous amount --15 years wages. Now, there was no way that the servant
could pay the king back that amount. But mercifully, the king has pity
on him and forgives him the debt.
This is a
very theological point that Jesus is making
here. He’s saying that we owe a debt to God that we can never pay back.
A holy, perfect, and loving God has created us and blessed us with every
spiritual blessing, and yet we as human beings -- collectively and individually
-- have squandered God’s blessings, have lived time & time again by
less than the best we know. We could never make a payment to God to make
up for all the sins of humanity and all the sins of our lives -- all the
times we missed the mark & fell short of God’s will for our lives.
None of us have the capital or moral reserves
to make such a payment. We are at the mercy of the King of Kings. And of
course, the Good News is, a payment has been made in the life, death and
resurrection of Jesus Christ. Our sins have been covered, blotted out,
wiped away, removed from the books. We have been forgiven all our debts
by the King who had mercy upon us.
And so Jesus is saying, "I want that sink
in.
"I want my mercy and grace to touch the
very depths of your souls. "So that those of you who know that your debts
are forgiven might be debt-forgivers of others. "In fact, when you pray
say, ‘Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors.’" "Because if my
amazing grace has truly touched your lives then you won’t be able to keep
it to yourself -- you’ll be sharing that grace with others, you’ll be a
debt forgiver. "If not, you’ll be like the servant who was forgiven a debt
of 15 years wages and went out and wouldn’t forgive someone who owed him
100 days wages."
When we don’t forgive others, we look as
silly as that ungrateful servant. So forgiveness is not an optional course
for students of the Jesus. It’s not an elective, it’s a required course.
And the church has reminded us of this time & time again, but the church
hasn’t
always helped us out a great deal it seems to me, because there’s still
a lot of confusion today about what forgiveness really is.
Let me start by saying what forgiveness
is NOT. Forgiveness is not excusing a wrong. What do we usually say
when someone apologizes to us? "That’s alright."
As if forgiveness is saying, "It’s OK what you
did. That’s alright. Don’t worry about it.
"As a matter of fact, you could do it again any
time." True forgiveness is really saying, "It’s NOT OK what you did, but
I forgive you. Apology accepted." You forgive a wrong, not just something
you can explain. What I think we should say when someone apologizes to
us is, "I accept your apology" In fact, that’s exactly what we’re requesting
when we say, "Please accept my apology."
Ex. If I accidentally step on your foot
and break your big toe, you’re not going to say to me, "That’s alright.
It’s alright what you did."
So, forgiveness is not excusing or explaining
away a wrong. It’s acknowledging a wrong from your perspective and forgiving
it anyway.
Forgiveness does not mean forgetting something.
There’s that strange phrase, "Forgive & forget" as if forgiveness &
moving on meant totally removing something from your data base. Just because
you can’t forget an episode, doesn’t mean you haven’t forgiven someone
for it. Forgiveness does not mean forgetting. It’s remembering and yet
forgiving.
Forgiveness is also not to be confused
with reconciliation.
Ex. When someone says, "Pastor, how often
must I forgive my abusive husband?" She isn’t really asking, "How many
times must I forgive him?" She’s really asking, "How many times must I
put up with this?" (and the answer is, not once. It’s never a loving thing
to allow someone to abuse you.) She’s confusing forgiveness with tolerance
and reconciliation. Forgiveness and reconciliation are two different things.
Let’s talk about what forgiveness is. Fortunately
there is someone named Lewis Smedes to help us. Smedes is a professor of
Christian ethics at Fuller Theological Seminary in Pasadena California.
No one has written more thoroughly, eloquently, & powerful about forgiveness.
This past summer we had a book club on his book, The Art of Forgiving.
At the end of the book he has a section entitled, "Just remember this."
We printed most of this section in your programs
this morning.
Here’s the bulletin insert entitled, "Just Remember
This"
1. We do our forgiving alone inside our hearts
and minds; what happens to the people we forgive depends on
them.
2. The first person to benefit from forgiving
is the one who does it.
M. Scott Peck says: "The reason to forgive
is for your own sake, for our own health. It is needed for
healing, because if we hold onto our anger, we stop growing
and our souls begin to shrivel."
3. Forgiving happens in three stages: We rediscover
the humanity of the person who wronged us, we surrender our
right to get even, and we wish that person well. (that’s h
ow we know we’ve truly forgiven someone, when
we truly wish them well)
4. Forgiving is a journey; the deeper the wound,
the longer the journey.
5. Forgiving does not require us to reunite with
the person who broke our trust.
6. We do not forgive because we are supposed
to; we forgive when we are ready to be healed.
7. Waiting for someone to repent before we forgive
is to surrender our future to the person who wronged us.
8. Forgiving someone who breaks a trust does
not mean that we give him his job back.
9. Forgiving is the only way to be fair to ourselves.
10. Forgivers are not doormats; to forgive a
person is not a signal that we are willing to put up with what he
does.
11. Forgiving is essential; talking about
it is optional.
12. When we forgive,
we set a prisoner free and discover that the
prisoner we set free . . . is us.
13. When we forgive we walk in stride with the
forgiving God.
Closing Illustration: Corrie Ten
Boom, a holocaust survivor who sheltered Jews during the war, was speaking
at a church one night. After the service a former prison guard went
to greet her and shake her hand. "Corrie, I was one of the guards in your
wing, but now I’m a brother in the Lord." Corrie froze, and she could not
shake his hand. This haunted her and she prayed for many weeks about it,
asking God to take away all the bitterness and hatred she had inside. Then
one day the former guard was in the audience again. And this time when
he came through the line, she did extend her hand. And as she did, she
felt freedom. She felt she had set herself free. She realized that forgiveness
did not mean excusing what he had done, or explaining it away or forgetting
it completely. Instead, forgiveness meant freeing herself--letting go of
all the negative energy and being alive to God & to grace and contentment
here in the present moment.
If you’re holding on to something this morning,
ask a gracious God to set you free.
That’s is the miracle of forgiveness.
Closing Song: "In My Life, Lord, Be Glorified"
"In
my forgiving, be glorified, be glorified today.
(The Art of Forgiving by Lewis Smedes is available at: Christianbook.com)
Rich Knight