"Faith and Doubt"

April 22, 2001

John 20: 19-31  (p. 945)

 I love the Sunday after Easter. I always have. There’s not a lot of hoopla, no brass, no Hallelujah Chorus, but there are plenty
y of kindred spirits in the room. There are also often those who were here Easter Sunday and came back to give it a try for another Sunday. Most often, the assigned Gospel lesson for the Sunday after Easter is the 2nd half of John 20, where we read about Doubting Thomas. Thomas is certainly a man for our day and age - he wanted proof. And he wouldn’t believe until he got it. And then he got it. Let’s take a look (please read the passage).

 Faith and Doubt.    Doubt and Faith. They go together. Now I have to be honest and say that it pains me a little to make that statement, because I'm a traditionalist. I was raised on such hymns as, Blessed Assurance, Jesus is Mine. "I Love to Tell the Story because I know It’s true." I cut my teeth on such verses as, Hebrews 11:1 - "Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen." I believe in having a faith with conviction and assurance.  And I do. And yet, doubt is a part of the faith experience.
 Please take a look at the front of your bulletins this morning. These are from Philip Yancey's great book, Reaching for the Invisible God.
God’s invisibility guarantees I will experience times of doubt."
 "Doubt is the skeleton in the closet of faith, and I know no better way to treat a skeleton than to bring it into the open and expose it for what it is: not something to hide or fear, but a hard structure on which living tissue may grow."

 "Doubt always coexists with faith, for in the presence of certainty who would need faith at all."
 Faith and Doubt go together. They’re part of the same experience, a Faith experience. Frederick Beuchner says, "Whether your faith is that there is a God or that there is not a Go
d, if you don’t have any doubts, you are either kidding yourself or asleep. Doubts are the ants in the pants of faith. They keep it awake and moving."
 Now, doubt comes in all shapes and sizes. Sometimes doubt lasts but for a moment when we entertain an idea contrary to our current faith. Other times doubt lasts for a significant period of our lives, either constant or recurring for years, even a lifetime for many. Some people doubt particular aspects or specific doctrines of our faith-- such as the Virgin Birth or the parting of the Red Sea or some of the Miracles in the Gospels. Other people wrestle with things that are at the heart of our faith, such as the Trinity or the identity of Jesus -- who is Jesus of Nazareth?  Teacher & Prophet, or Messiah, Savior, & God Incarnate? Some people, like Thomas, have difficulty believing in the bodily resurrection of Christ.  And still others wonder if there's a God at all.

 Illustration. I remember years ago going to a performance and not enjoying it at all. Now, I'm not going to say what kind of performance it was because I'm sure that some of you would absolutely love what I went to, and you’d think less of me for not liking it, and I'd think less of you for liking it. So It’s better left unidentified. But it might have been a concert, it might have been a play, it might have been dance thing, it might have been a poetry reading. Either way, it was the most boring thing I have ever endured! So much so, that at intermission, I was hoping the people I was with would want to leave and go out for ice cream. Instead they couldn't stop talking about how wonderful the performance was. They were all enthralled by it . . . captivated. And I just didn’t get it. I felt like I didn't belong. I wanted to like it, but I just didn't. I even wondered to myself if they were all just faking it. Maybe they didn’t really like it either.  Maybe just to think better about themselves they were pretending to like it. But I truly think most of them did like it. So I didn’t even mention skipping the 2nd half & going out for ice cream. I tried to like the 2nd half, but as hard as I tried it still didn’t move me.
 For many people, church, faith, God, and Jesus are like that performance was for me. They want to be moved by these things, by the faith, but they're just not. They know and they see that others are moved & even captivated by faith in God -- by prayer and worship and by believing in the Trinity -- but they just can't bring themselves to the point of believing. The poet Anne Sexton once said, she loved faith but had little.

 For those who struggle with faith and for those who currently aren't struggling with faith, there is much to learn from Thomas and the Disciples and their encounter with Christ.

 For one thing, I'm impressed with the honesty & sincerity of Thomas. He wanted to know. He wanted to be sure for himself. He didn’t want to believe just because others told him he should. He was not the sort of person who would just rattle off a creed without knowing what it was all about. Tennyson's famous words fit for Thomas: "There lives more faith in honest doubt, believe me, than in half the creeds." There’s a courageous honesty about Thomas.
 Thomas Society. We have some Honest Doubters in our church family - people who are wrestling with faith & doubt, and wanting to get together with others on a similar journey. They’re come up with an unofficial name, The Thomas Society, and they're going to be meeting soon. Contact me if you’d like to be a part of that gathering.
 The Church must comfortable with doubts and questioning. Notice that the Disciples asked Thomas to be with them even when he doubted.

 Illustration. I heard a story recently about a British Pastor who lost his faith. He went before his Deacons to resign, and they refused to accept his letter of resignation. They said, "Stay and continue to be our pastor. And we will believe for you. In the meantime, feel free to preach your doubts. We can handle it." And he preached his doubts for three years until his faith returned. The story may seem a bit far fetched, but it makes the point about the church being comfortable with people doubting and wrestling with faith. If people can't take their doubts about faith to church, where can they take them? And so, Thomas is there with the Disciples, even when he’s doubting.

 Illustration. Theologians and Preachers have long compared human beings trying to figure out God to little tiny ants trying to figure out us.  Our world is beyond the comprehension of ants. Our minds, our consciousness, our entire existence is just too much for them to fully grasp. In the same way, the God of the Universe is just too great, too awesome for us to fully comprehend. "If God were small enough to be understood, God would not be big enough to be worshiped." And yet, ants know we exist!   - because they see us! If we were to overhear two ants talking, and the one ant said to the other ant, "Do you think humans exist?" The other ant would say, "Yes, of course, I’ve seen them. Haven't you?" So ants have an advantage over us when it comes to faith in us. They can see us. What if they couldn't? What if we were invisible and they could only see what we leave behind?  (which is what they're really interested in anyway!" That would be a comparable experience. We would be invisible to them. They would just have to trust that we existed. All they could see would be the gifts -- the crumbs, the sandwiches, the cake we leave uncovered -- all they could see would be the gifts we leave for them.

 That’s the human experience when it comes to God. We can't see God. We can't touch God physically, or hear his voice audibly. We can only see what the gifts -- creation, human love, forgiveness, beauty, creativity, scripture, the sacraments.
 Yancey says, ìI turned to God primarily because of my discovery of goodness and grace in the world: through nature, through classical music, through romantic love. Enjoying the gifts, I began to seek the giver; full of gratitude, I needed Someone to thank."
 God’s greatest gift to us is Jesus Christ. Focus on him, study him, and I believe that you will see and discover God. Yancey writes, "When in doubt, I focus on Jesus, the most unfiltered revelation of God’s own self." Thomas believed when he saw the Risen Christ. He was captivated by him and instantly pledged his life and obedience to him: "My Lord and my God!"
 You know, the Greek word for believe means, "to give one's heart to." It’s not an intellectual exercise to truly believe in God. It’s an act of worship and love and trust.
 Illustration. Kathleen Norris, the poet and author, writes of her experience in a Benedictine monastery. She went there full of doubts and immediately shared them with the monks. They did not seem the slightest bit concerned about her intellectual doubts & questions Instead, they made sure she came to all the regular times of worship, prayer, and liturgy. They taught her how to love God, how to speak with God, how to be with God. Instead of answering her questions, they taught her how to worship. And through worship, she came to believe--to give her heart away to God. The words of St. Thomas became her words, "My Lord and My God."

Let’s close by singing just the first part of our opening song,
 "Open the Eyes of My Heart, Lord"
 Open the Eyes of My Heart, Lord.
 Open the Eyes of My Heart.
 I want to see you.
 I want to see you.
Let’s pray.
 Lord Jesus, you said, "Blessed are those who do not see and yet believe." Captivate our hearts that we might spiritual see and believe, so that we might give our hearts and our love to you, as Thomas said, "Our Lord and our God." In your name we pray. Amen.

 "Faith and doubt both are needed - not as antagonists - but working side by side to take us around the unknown curve."   - Lillian Smith

Rich Knight


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