Series: "Toward a Simpler Life"

May 21, 2007, Rev. Dr. Richard M. Knight

Romans 3:21-26 (p. 134)

Matthew 23:22-24 (p. 22)

We’re starting a series this month entitled, "Toward a Simpler Life." I think many of us moderns live pretty crazy lives. We over schedule and over commit. We try to do too many things at once - drive a car, talk on a cell phone, listen to music, talk to our children, while they hit each other and play a video game.

Modern life. It’s complicated, and we’re in over our heads. For instance you could spend this afternoon learning all the features of your cell phone and how you can utilize it better, to make your life better and more efficient. Of course, you could say the same thing about your computer, your digital camera, your video camera, and your watch, or your microwave oven. All of these products are smarter than we are. It often stresses me out.

Of course, you should read the entire Sunday paper today to keep well informed. You should also read your Bible everyday and Dr. Phil’s latest book. You should exercise 30 minutes a day, check the air pressure in your tires, spend quality time with your spouse and your children and nurture the friendships in your life before you lose them, all the while volunteering large amounts of time seeking to make a difference in this world for God’s sake. Modern life is pretty complicated.

Sometimes the church helps sort things out, and sometimes we’re part of the problem. This month we’re going to try and be part of the solution, as we look at spiritual principles that can lead us toward simpler living.

Perfectionism is also part of the problem. I’d like to spend just a few moments with you this morning exploring the impact of perfectionism upon our lives.

Illustration. Basketball Backboard. I first noticed that I had a problem with perfectionism when I was up on ladder in my driveway, standing on the top step of the ladder (the one marked ("Do not use this as a step"). I had one arm draped over the rim of my basketball goal with 409 spray cleaner in my hand, and the other arm cleaning the backboard with a rag. I thought to myself - "In all my years of driving around, looking in people’s driveways, I’ve never seen anyone cleaning their basketball backboards. This may not be normal?"

Those self-revealing moments are troubling, aren’t they? But they’re also helpful moments, when we see ourselves in the mirror and we have to decide if we like what we see, or if we’re a bit foolish. And we ask ourselves, is this good for me? - for my life, for my spirit, for my soul?

Perfectionism is not good for our spirits. It’s not helpful for soulful and spiritual living.

Dr. David Stoop has written a book - Living with a Perfectionist.

Quiz to help identity whether or not you’re a perfectionist. See how many of these statements you agree with or disagree with.

1. I often put things off because I don’t have time to do them perfectly.

2. I expect the best of myself at all times.

3. I generally think I could have done it better.

4. I get upset when things don’t go as planned.

5. Other people can’t understand my desire to do things right.

6. I am often disappointed in the quality of other people’s work.

7. If anything I do is considered average, I’m unhappy.

8. I think less of myself if I repeat of mistake.

Obviously, the more of those you agreed with, the more messed up you are! -just like me.

Here are some problems with perfectionism:

1. It’s a killjoy. David Stoop says Perfectionists are "people with lives that are rich in achievement but poor in joy." Perfectionists are often disappointed because they live in an "all or nothing" world. Either I did it perfectly or I blew it! To a perfectionist, excellent means perfect. Anything less than perfection is failure. So perfectionists often feel like they’ve failed.

I began pastoring a church while in seminary. Sundays nights I would drive back to Princeton and I’d critique myself harshly in terms of Sunday morning. And I made even more mistakes then than I do now.

Ex. - I raised my hand for the final Benediction and my mind went blank - "Bye-bye!" I would get so depressed driving back to school, feeling like I had failed because I made a few mistakes.

Is that how Jesus wanted me to feel? When Jesus encountered people who had made mistakes did he make them feel like failures or like children of God? So, one problem with perfectionism is regularly feeling like a failure.

2. Another problem is that perfectionists seldom keep it to themselves. Have you ever had someone come into your house and straighten your pictures? Someday I’m going to say this: "We like them crooked. It gives a different perspective!" Or don’t you love when someone looks over the room you’ve just painted and they say, "Look at that, you missed a spot!" Thanks. Perfectionists are often evangelists of the bad news - "You’ve messed up. Let me point it out to you!"

3. One other problem with perfectionism is that it can keep us from focusing on what really matters. The Pharisees were the unrivaled perfectionists of the ancient world. Nobody did perfectionism like the pharisees! You’ve probably heard that they added some 600 laws to the Old Testament. In a very legalistic way they perfected obedience to God obeying all those 600 laws plus Leviticus! But in Matthew 23 Jesus has some very harsh words for them - "Woe to you, Scribes and Pharisees. You tithe your mint, dill and cumin, and yet you have neglected the weightier matters of the law - justice and mercy and faith."

- ‘You’re tithing so thoroughly that you’re giving one tenth of even your tiny little herb gardens to God, and yet you’re missing what really matters to the heart of God - justice, mercy and faith."

Perfectionism is a poor guide for life. It often leads us away from the path of life, the path of joy, the path of satisfying relationships.

I had some friends who had a dramatic change in their lives. I think of them in this message because they had the perfect house - perfectly cared for, landscaped, decorated - they worked so hard on the house that they loved. Anytime you stopped in it was perfect. They were wonderful people. The husband got very sick quickly and died. The man’s wife had to go into a nursing home right away, and so within a week the house was on the market and within 10 days of the funeral there was a yardsale. The children had to move quickly. But I drove by the house and all of perfection was for sale. And I couldn’t help but think - was it worth it? But more importantly - Is it worth it? I can’t know if it’s worth it for someone else, but I do know that perfectionism can rob us of life and joy.

So here are some solutions:

1. Challenge "All or Nothing" thinking. Just because you made a mistake doesn’t mean you blew it.

2. We need to believe our theology.

"All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God."

"All have sinned." "There is none perfect, no not one."

We truly are sinners saved by God’s amazing grace. One of the problems with perfectionism is that it again makes it all about us! Perfectionistic values thrive in an individualistic society. Perfectionists can be a bit self-absorbed - and that’s a problem relationally and it’s a spiritual problem. Am I a child of God because of what I perfectly achieve? Am I accepted by God, blessed by God, only when I achieve perfection? We might believe we’re sinners saved by grace but many of us live like we truly believe that we’re sinners saved by perfection. Perfectionism doesn’t lead us closer to God. It leads us in the opposite direction.

Remember John’s the Baptist famous words when he saw Christ coming - "He must increase. I must decrease." Perfectionism runs contrary to that - "I must increase in my perfect works!" We need healthy doses of biblical theology - "All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God . . but .. . . they are now justified by his grace as a gift through the redemption that is in Jesus Christ" - and not in our perfectionism.

Matt. 5:48. I need to save a word about a verse you’ve probably heard. "Be ye perfect, even as your Father in heaven is perfect." The word for perfect there is teleios. It means mature, fully grown. It’s the same word that used for an animal that is fully grown or a flower that is fully grown and blossoming. It’s mature. When something is teleios it’s fully realized the purpose for which it was planned, designed and made.

It’s what or who it’s meant to be. So the verse means, Be mature. Be who you’re meant to be. Be who God made you to be! But the Bible never assumes us to be perfect. There was just one who was perfect, Jesus, and our salvation, our acceptance as children of God is based upon him and upon his grace.

3. One last thing - we need to strive for quality and excellence but not perfection. I think Baby Boomers are really bad at this. We put enormous pressure on ourselves and our children to achieve perfection.

I find this striking given the fact that the Boomer were raised in the 60’s where they were quite rebellious against authority. But Boomers in authority have brought the idealism of the 60s and turned it into perfectionism. And that can be a sickness unto death. It stifles creativity, creates endless work and diminishes the quality of life for many.

Well, this sermon is not perfect. I probably could have done better.

It’s an average sermon. But God can use even what’s average. So I think I’ll stop here.

Let’s pray:

Dear Lord, Help us to accept our human limitations and believe that you accept us just as we are. As Paul ended most of his letter, "May grace be with us all." Teach us to live your grace, to extend it to others, to forgive and to accept forgiveness. Help us to forgive even ourselves for our imperfections. And enable us to celebrate the lives you have given to us and the people you’ve given us to share life with. In your holy name. Amen.